Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Continued thoughts on Sex and Relationships.

Since I have gotten such responses from talking about sex, relationships and such I shall continue to share my thoughts.

I had someone send me a message asking for some suggestions.  Well, instead I thought I would share them here for everyone to see.  Now, as I am the male in a M/F relationship that is how I am going to write.  But most of these could be done by any pairing.  Just use your brain and figure it out folks.

Most people love spontaneity, romance, and fun.  I mentioned earlier about sending your partner a text message to meet for dinner.  The same could be done for a whole evening. Ex.  Leave a note where your lover will find it telling her to pack a bag for the night and to include certain things to get there mind going (condoms, scarf’s, a few "toys").  Tell them to be ready at a certain time (make sure to give them enough time!) You could pick them up ready to go and go straight to a hotel room and have your fun! 


Have a cab pick them up, take them to a hotel, leave a key for them at the front desk with a note saying to go to the room.  In the room, have an outfit waiting for them to put on.  Then come to the room and, well you can fill in the rest!

Ok, what about those that just lack imagination or spontaneity?  Ok, this one takes a bit of work, but both of you will enjoy the work.  Take time, while your apart to write down your fantasies or things that you love your lover to do to you.  Keep them short and to the point.  Ex. blow-jobs, sex on all fours, watching porn together, tie him up, must keep eye contact during sex, sex in the car, sex on the porch, her wearing thigh highs, etc.  You get the idea.  Now, have each of you write down 25 of these. 

Now that you both have 25 things that you like, go buy a cheap Deck of playing cards.  Print out the lists so that each on will fit on a card, cut them out and glue them to the face of the cards.  leave the jokers alone.  You have just created your own fantasy deck!

Want to have fun, can't figure out what to do?  Draw three cards and make sure you do them!  Or more, drawn 5, what the hell have fun...  As for the jokers, call them wild, or draw 4s it’s up to you.  The point is have fun!

 Now here’s one that for some reason guys just don't get and it bugs me.  lingerie shopping.  It’s not that hard guys!  I know I have heard the excuses, here's the highlights-

"But, is woman's underwear, what if they think I'm gay..." Who, the sales girls?  What do you care if they do?  But really, who cares.  they are they to help you, they can be your best ally when it comes to shopping for your SO.

"But what if I buy her the wrong size and she gets upset?" Ok, valid.  But if you don't try then you never will.  Best way to find out, look at what she already has and write down the sizes, colors, and fits.  Then when you go into the store, look at the sales girl and tell her "I need something for my wife, she is a 36D, med bottom, with killer long legs.  She loves reds and greens, what do you got?"

"But what if I'm the only guy in their..." So what!  Usually this would be a man’s dream to be the only guy in a shop full of women surrounded by panties and bras!  But now it’s a bad thing, so what.  If anything the other women in there will be thinking "Wish my man bought me nice things". 

Ok, so I have hit the highlights. When shopping for nice lingerie I cannot stress enough to find out your ladies tastes.  I know that this may be a stretch, but you like her, love her, are marrying her, it might be time to actually think about what she likes once in awhile.  Now if you like me and just have a bad memory for details, write it down, it’s not cheating, there is now relationship GM that’s going to call you on a personal foul because you took time to write down what you’re SO likes.  In fact, she just might be impressed by it.

Ok, so I have ripped on the guys, guess it's time to return the favor to that gals.  Now as often as we make fun for men and that they are easily amused ("Look boobies......") and that most men are content with just having sex, they too like to have fun with it and feel special.  Now maybe it’s something to do with chemicals in the brain, or hormones, or something in wearing a thong, but men are more hands on then women.  Most women like candles, mood, dinner, romance, and the like. Men want to touch, to feel, the physical.  they could care less where the feeling was happening. Whereas women do... (Again, I speak in generalities here folks, so don't jump down my throat with "Hey I like to fuck just as much as the next girl!")

So, ladies, men like to see you in the sexy outfits, lingerie and such.  But more so they like to feel you in it, touch it, touch you, etc.  Why do you think men pay so much for lap dances and that women, on the whole, do not.  It’s the feeling, the rubbing, etc. 

So, I guess what it comes down to is if you want to make your mans day, set out a chair ask him to sit in it.  Tell him that if he moves the fun stops, but if he hold still then you will make him see stars.  Get on the sexiest outfit you have, dance for him, rub against him, etc.  Even if you’re not the best dancer, because let’s face it, most strippers are not the best at dancing and that’s not why guys go to watch them...  But do a strip tease and a lap dance for him, make him feel special.  Now the best part of this whole thing is that unlike the strippers you can give him a happy ending.  remember the whole move and it stops part, use this time to tease him, nibble on him, drive him up the wall.  Trust me, he may cry and moan about it, but don't let him move until you’re ready to be assaulted by a jack hammer! 

If he will let you, grab those scarf’s and tie him up to the chair.  Here’s another suggestion.  If you are really worried about your dancing skills you have two options. 1. Buy a DVD, there are plenty on the market now that show how to strip as well as loss weight at it. Or 2. Blindfold him and turn out most of the lights so he can't see.  This way he is not paying any attention to how you look, but entirely to how you feel. 

Ok, that’s my thoughts for the day.  Anyone reading this, please feel free to chime in with your own thoughts.  I have found that what we may think is simple may not even been thought of by our fellow sex fiends...


-Haven De Lancret

1 comment:

  1. I have to say it again...great work, funny and informative, I likes it.