Saturday, February 13, 2010

Keeping it Spicy or The Jalapeno of Sex

Keeping a relationship spicy takes constant work.  How much work depends on you and the question of how important it is to you?  Think of your relationship like a car, it gets you to where you're going but you constantly need to refuel.  You can put $5 in gas every day or $50 and drive all week.  A relationship similarly needs refueling and you can do a little a lot or a lot a little. This is up to you and is different with each relationship.

Here are some simple things that you can do to keep your sex life spicy. 

1.Text messages: Just about everyone has a cell phone these days with texting capabilities.  Sending a text message takes little to no time and can really brighten your lover's day.  Make it spicy by including your desires for that night, or how wonderful they were the night before.  It can be as simple as "I want to feel you in me".

2.Photo messages: Photo phones are become very popular these days.  Sending a "Naughty" photo message is the new age version of a "naughty" Polaroid in the brief case.  Photo messages are much better than the old fashion Polaroid or even e-mail because you are 99% sure that only your lover will get the message and the photo (instead of giving a cheap thrill to his coworkers).

3.Sexy lingerie: Wear sexy underwear, even if it's under jeans.  Guys, silk boxers.  Girls, lacy thongs and matching bra with garter and thigh highs.  It will not only make you feel sexier in jeans or everyday clothes, but will be a wonderful surprise when you and your lover go to bed.

4.Go Bare: This is mainly for the girls to do for the guys.  The next time you are going out, even if it's just to do the grocery shopping, wear a skirt or dress and don't wear panties.  Wait until you get to where you're going, then as you enter the grocery store or the movies, whisper in your lover's ear that you are not wearing anything under your skirt or dress.  While you're shopping or doing whatever make small comments to remind him of your lack of under garments.  Simple things like telling him you can't lean down to get the can of tomatoes off the bottom shelf or how cold the freezer isle is.  It will drive him nuts the whole time you're out.  But I must warn you, be prepared for him to check and maybe more as soon as you're back in the car!

5.Hide and seek:  Tell your lover while you're out that you've hidden $20 somewhere on your person.  They can have it when you get home if they can find it, but they can only look for it with their mouth, no hands.

6.MP3: If your lover is leaving on a long trip, or even just for work, make an MP3 of yourself talking dirty to them.  Most computers these days have recording options and MP3 recording software.  Also check your digital camera; a lot of them come with recording options as well.  If not, then go here for more information. You can be as naughty as you like, tell them what you are going to do to them when they get home; make sex sounds or sounds that you make in bed, hell, just record yourself masturbating if you wish.  Once you have your naughty MP3 put it on their MP3 player before they leave, or give them yours with it on it.  It will make them want to get home to you all the quicker!

7.Toys: if you don't already have some, get some.  A simple egg vibe from Spencer's costs $15 and can open whole new words of fun for both of you!

8.Room Change:  Do something different with sex. If you normally only have sex in the bedroom then try any number of the other rooms in your house.  This might be a little harder for those of us with kids or roommates, but it's well worth it.

9.Eye Contact: This may seem simple to some, but odd to others.  A lot of us close our eyes during most of sex; for me I know that if my eyes are closed I can concentrate on all the other great physical sensations.  Next time you have sex, maintain eye contact with your lover.  Watch their eyes as you make love or just fuck.  The eyes can show so much more emotion than any other part of the body.  Remember, the eyes are the gateway to your soul.

10.Power Outage:  Go to your local store and by two bags of 50 tea light candles. Spread the candles around a room (living room, bedroom, etc).  You might have to clean first to make sure you have enough open space for them all. Turn it all off, TV, computers, cell phones, lights, everything and spend the night just enjoying each other.  You never know, all that candle light just might spark some other fires.

There ya go, 10 simple things you can do to spice up your sex life.  Above all, have fun everyone.  Sex is what you make it, so make it good.  If you have any simple suggestions on spicing thing up feel free to post them, or for the shy ones send me a private message.  I promise you can remain anonymous.


-Haven De Lancret

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