Sunday, February 21, 2010

Supermarket Sex Shop

Ok folks, it's time to share some more info from the deeply disturbed mind of Haven.  Your local large supermarket (My-jers, WallyWorld, K-Fart, etc) have a plethora of pervatable items, if you're in the right mind set.  Don't get me wrong, nothing will replace a well stocked adult boutique when it comes to sex toys, but if you don't a good adult store nearby, then one of these stores can help spice up your bedroom antics if you just look at the right places. 

I know it may seem like an obvious one, but let's start with the condom/sex aid section of the store.  Notice how there are lots of different condoms… Well there's an easy way to start spicing things up.  Even if you only trust one brand of condom, each company usually have at least half dozen different condoms.  Warming, tingle, spiral shaped, ribbed, etc.  About the only one I do not suggest is any of the spermicidal ones.  While they do a damn good job of killing sperm, they also kill the good bacteria found in the woman vaginal track, or higher (yes, there is such a thing as good bacteria).

Also in the same area are the lubes and such… but avoid most lubes that can be bought over the counter at these stores.  Most of these are not intended for internal use, just read the back of the bottle.   More info to come on this, but most are being found to cause some infections, irritations, etc. until I get done reading the rest of the report on the outbreak, "Pink" and "Pure" are the only ones currently not found to cause problems. 

Also in or around this same isle you will usually find other fun "sex" items.  Trojan and others have come out with one time use cockring vibes, these are great fun and usually come with one condom with it.  Also, you can now buy "personal massagers" at most stores… Massager, yeah, they are shaped to fit a certain part of the female body… It's a vibe!  So there ya go, you can even get your basic vibrator at these stores. 

I have broken these down into the departments found in the store. 

Kitchen
Spatulas, meat tenderizer
Spatulas make for great spanking/slappers.  The cupped ones are make great sounds when slapping the ass or breasts. 
Meat Tenderizer, the roller ones, makes for great sensation play when rolled over the naked body.

Health
Heat pads, the ones that you crush and then place on the body, are also great for sensation play.  Place them on the inner thighs, breasts, or slide them on the body.

Automotive
Spreader bar, there is a clothing bar in the automotive section made to go between the roof handles on the either side of the rear seat.  These are collapsing with rings on either end that is made to stand up to 300 lbs.  Great for a spreader bar. 
Tie downs are great for, well, tying down.  Just do not ratchet the straps to tight, but they work well with cuffs.

Camping
Inflatable air mattress with frame for tying down a person, and then you can collapses down and can be stored out of site. 

Sports
Plastic practice golf balls and a shoe lace make a good starter drool gag.
Ping pong paddle, spanking, duh. 

Jewelry
Clip on earrings for nipple clamps.

Pets
Collars, leashes, tags, etc for doggy play, BDSM, etc. 

Home Decor
Candles, all white ones for wax play.
Scarf's for light bondage and sensation play when dragged over a naked body.
Suit hanger with clips for nipple clamps that can have weights easily added to them.

Crafts
Leather strips for again sensation play, or mix with a dowel rod to make a simple flogger. 

Hardware
Rope, chain, eye bolts, etc… Look to the bondage blog for more info this.

Food
Cucumbers and bananas add a condom and go to town with your new dong.  If you have some time, take a large potato and carve it in the shape of dildo…  Get it?
Choc syrup, desert toppings eaten off a body… Need I say more? Just do not place these items around the pussy due to sugar causing yeast infections. 

This is just a sample of what can be done with the right mind set at the supermarket.  So go out and have some kinky shopping. 

Later!

-Haven De Lancret

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