Thursday, March 25, 2010

10 Things that piss me off.....

Since I have started blogging, I have ranted, I have raved, I have bitched, and I have kibitz.  I have hit on allot of subject, but there are those things that piss me off, not enough to deserve an entire blog about them, but enough that they should be noted.

So here they are, the Top 10 Things that piss me off.... Some.

10. Spam- Ok, so this pisses everyone off.  And it seems no matter how I set my rules or anti-spam program it never works right.  If the rules are to high now the important email about someone posting new photos in the family album on Yahoo is getting deleted.  Set to low and your bombarded with offers for penny stocks and Viagra.  I'm 27, I don't need Viagra! A pair of fishnet thigh highs gets the same result!

9. Thermal Mugs- Ok, now this is one of those that I love them.... Until they don't work!  Your sitting there at work or on the road, nice steaming hot cup of joe, slowly sipping it and trying to enjoy this miserable thing called morning.  When, with half a mug left its suddenly cold.  WTF, it’s like it hits that half way mark and suddenly the time space continuum stops and the coffee disappears to Zimbabwe, gets ice cold, then teleports back to your cup... All in the time that it take for you to reach for another sip!

8. Fatty Bacon- You all have done it, well, at least all of you that have made BLT's or tried to cook you lover breakfast in bed.  You get a nice package of bacon, all nice and red.  You open it up to cook, and the top piece is the only one that has any meat on it, all the rest are 75% fat and grease.  To me this constitutes false advertising and the meat packers should be ashamed of themselves.  I mean come on, this is amount to meeting a hot girl on line just to find out it’s your sisters ex-husband.

7. Shoes- Not woman's, I love woman's shoes and boots... ON MY WIFE!!  No, lets discuss the seldom mentioned problem with mens shoes...  Like, that there are very few styles, and they change with the season.  I like hiking boots, but for some reason the shoe industry has decided that carpenter boots are the boots that shoes stores are going to carry.  I hate tennis shoes for the lack of ankle support, and I hate heavy work boots because they slow me down.  But apparently the shoe industry thinks that Guys care more about what rappers are wearing and think that if J-Z wears it n a video then that’s what every guy will wear.

6. Fugly people- Ok, so this one can be touchy.  Let me explain before you think I'm more of an ass then I really am.  It’s those fugly people that are fugly because they don't take care of themselves.  You know the ones that have lost most of their teeth, look like they haven't bathed since birth, and smell like day old fish.  People who are born ugly, ok, tough brake.  No, I'm referring to mister gas station attendant that’s always working the late shift.  How hard is it to take a fucking shower.  Come on, this is basic human hygiene.  Or has that been cut form out school budget too...

5. Pot Holes- Tire eaters, Pits of doom, Muffler Man Money Maker. Whatever you call them, they suck.  And here’s what gets me, in Greece they are driving semi's on roads that were built by hand more than centuries ago that have no pot holes, not problems what so ever, and here in the 21 century you could have your sports car totaled by a pot hole!  WTF, things are supposed to get better with time (Like wine and women) not worse!  Oh wait, that’s right, we need to make sure that those workers will be kept employed.  Mean while you’re paying for it in tire damage.  You want save tax dollars, build the fucking roads so they last and were not shelling out millions a year on road work!

4. Batteries-This one is simple and straight to the point.  Batteries that die within hours of putting them into your remote.  New batteries mind you, not ones I took out of my kids walk man so that I can be a lazy bastard.  No, those ones will work for days.  Two words for ya, expiration date!

3. Damaged Mail- Ok, how many times have you asked for a catalog or paid for a magazine, waited on tooth and nail for it to arrive just to have the cover torn up and the one article on what lipstick looks more whoreish (So you can buy some for your girl) that you wanted to read is soaked, ripped, or in any other way ruined.  Come on, if you damaged that mail, don't crush my dreams by giving me the broken pieces, send it back for me damn it.  I know that accidents happen, but would you think that at some point a HUMAN would see the damage and ask "Maybe this should be replaced", oh wait, again, more machines... doing the damaging.. I mean sorting.

2. Forum Etiquette- Again simple...  Why do people feel that they can be pricks and assholes when hiding behind a screen name on a forum.  Whether you say it in person or while hiding behind some avatar of a sheep flipping you off its still going to hurt the person your aiming for.  Just because you don't think they can fire back at you because they don't know where you live ( you know, in your moms basement because you have no ambition or life) that it won't come back to you.  Well it will, maybe not from the girl you made cry by saying she looked fat in the photos she posted, but maybe in the cold pizza that you got, you remember, the one with the weird "extra" topping...
And Number 1 is....

1. Bad Porn- Look, porn is like pizza, yes, even when its bad, it’s still ok.  But let’s face it.  If all your looking for is something to get your rocks off, fine anything will do.  But, if you looking for that porn to watch with a "special" someone, you want it to be good... One because once you seen good porn, the bad shit looks even worse than before.  Second, good porn you won't turn off after you have had some fun, no, you keep watching it, then things start to get going again.. then, next thing you know its 6am and you have been doing the wild thing for so long you have rug burn in places you didn't know touched the floor.  What does bad porn get you... you spend more time flipping through the scenes to find one that you like then you do having fun.  Usually by the end you feel cheated because you wasted your hard earned money on this piece of shit.  About the only saving grace would be that you either borrowed it from a friend so you didn't lose any money or that you take the DVD and get a cool monster off it when playing "Monster Rancher"
Ok, so those are my top 10 things that piss me off some.

What are yours? You know you have them, if you want, post them here are a response, or post your own blog about them.

Until next time, when the topic will be world peace and lack of getting laid in religious leaders... a connection?

-Haven De Lancret

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