Hello ladies, perverts, sluts and sex fiends! Welcome to another installment of Imps continued thoughts on sex and relationships. Today I want to talk about taking your time and enjoying sex. Now I know that we all enjoy sex, but what I mean is really enjoying sex for sex its self. The actual act of sex.
Most of us have at least once or twice found ourselves after sex laying in bed thinking "that was nice..." Now don't get me wrong, quickies are all fine and dandy, but it is my feelings that we do not take enough time for sex. We are so caught up in the end goal of orgasm that we lose sight that the act itself can be just as enjoyable as the climax at the end.
Just about anyone that has read any book dealing with sex or watch shows like "Love Line" (feeling old yet) or "Open Source Sex" has heard the old line about taking your time. But what does it really mean?
Here are a few of my thoughts on how to take your time. First off, make sure that you have time enough to do what you want. Trying to cram a 3 hour fuck-a-thon in at 11pm on a Wednesday night when one of you has to be at work at 7pm and the other has midterms the nest day just is not going to work. Granted the sex may be great, but you will feel guilty about your partners lake of sleep the next day at work or that they did poorly on their tests (or at least you should). So, making sure that you take the time to have your fun is critical. Shut the TV off at 8pm and start your fooling around.
Next I would say is don't rush things. If you have the time, or have made the time, us it. Sex is not just about fucking, lots of people, men especially like to jump right to hardcore fucking like they just found out there’s a bomb dropping on them. If you find that you have trouble not jumping right to the intercourse, set a time limit for yourself. Say, 30 min of foreplay before starting sex.
Now this might be the hardest for us all, taking a break. Yes, stop fucking and take a moment or two to slow back down. This has a few benefits. For guys, it lets their bodies slow down and let them last longer. For both of you it turns your sex-capads into a thrilling sexual roller coaster with highs, lows and the occasional loop. But unlike a roller coaster this one starts small and get bigger with each low. Listen to me men, women can and need allot more stimulation then we do. But by building her up, letting her down a little and then taking higher, then down again, and higher again when she finally comes down that last hill directly into orgasm it will be a screaming, body stiffening, nail digging, knock the vase off the night stand explosion of sexual tension that will make your neighbors have to light up a smoke.
Now by braking I do not mean, pull out, roll over and see what on the telly. No, just stop fucking, drive yourself deep(Or if the women is in control, settle in) and take a moment to kiss (if you can), or caress her back, tug his hair, exchange a few words of love or lust... Just a few moments can do allot, and not just one brake, take few and enjoy each other and the closeness you have at this moment.
Now I am not picking on guys, but let’s face facts here. Guys are weakest link in the long love making chain. Don't be ashamed of it, it’s just the truth, all a guy needs to cum is a naked women and a couple of well placed yanks of the control shaft. So, how to get around it. Lucky for us guys technology has come to our rescue. There are toys aplenty to help get your lady off, and ladies do not be worried that he may not be aroused, I have yet to hear of any man that can stay un-aroused when hearing his women moaning (let alone that he is causing it). Oh, and men can be aroused and not be hard (a shock I know) But just like a women can be aroused and not physically wet, just because he is not hard does not mean that you are not turning him on. After hearing you moan, on touch of your fingers to his shaft and you will have a hard on larger than the Clinton Memorial (You know the one that looks like the Washington Memorial).
Start off slow! I cannot stress this enough, even if you have gotten your lady dripping wet and begging for you inside her or you can tell that your guy as just about ready to rip you in half if he gets free of the ropes, start slow. Personally, I love to watch a woman's face as you slowly enter her even if she is very ready and willing. It’s almost just as good as those last few seconds before she cums where you can almost see her soul in her eyes. But even then, men, resisted the urge to do your best jackhammer impersonation and start slow. Women, resist the urge to buck against your guy when he first enters you. Not only because if he is desperately trying to control himself you might ruin the whole thing right there, but the chances of either partner getting hurt are high when you first start sex even if you have been ready since you left the movie theater and he finely moved his hand with the twitchy pinkie from your thigh.
Other advances is your friend the condom. Even a plain condom can help by desensitizing a man just enough that he is not acting like old faithful as soon as the fucking starts. Not enough, add another, there cheep! Also, most of the major condom brands have brought out "Long Lasting" condoms with a slight desensitizing agent on the inside. These do work, sometimes too well. Personally, I will wear one for the first half of the fuck-a-thon then pull it off and put on a normal one and still be feeling the effects of the longer last one for another hour or so. So be careful with these as they can backfire, and as wonderful as it is to have you lady clawing up the wall with her 10th orgasm of the night, not being able to cum yourself can be a very bad thing for both of you.
Lastly, lube. If you really want to have a really long night of orgasmic pleasure your should have lube handy. I know I know, even if you have a great sex drive and you think you can produce enough wetness to drowned a guy, you will eventually reach a point where it will start to hurt. Funny thing is, it will feel for both of you like a kind of good pulling sensation when he thrusts in. Grab the lube, and if you’re a multitasker, you may not even have to stop fucking, just drip some on the guy as he pulls out and keep on having fun. There have also been some wonderful advances in lube too. If you haven't tried the warming stuff form KY, its defiantly worth it. Also, personally I go with the gels as they stay where you put it and not all over you sheets.
I think that about covers it. So to end, let us remember the long sex mantra "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm good once as I ever was..."
-Haven De Lancret