Friday, May 21, 2010

Its not about the erection...

I know, but really, sex is not about the erection. Sex should be about the feelings, the touching, the sharing, the exploration, and the pleasing. Lets face it, a women does not "need" an erection to get off. Don't believe me, look at lesbian porn...

What is needed for great sex is a connection and communication. We all know that you can buy pricks at any adult store or even make one out of a cucumber. So now that I have deflated all your male egos. Oh and all the "but its the motion of the ocean" comments are bull...

How do you get around that (and this goes for everyone) is to talk and find out what makes your SO tick, floats their boat, or any other analogy. Now that communication can be as simple as a pick up line and "Lets go back to my place to fuck!" Can that lead to great sex, yes.


Because everyone gets all hung up on communication being spoken. Communication is anything that can get your message across. You can tell you partner that you like what they are doing by saying "I like that baby" just as well as a head thrown back, heavy breathing, and a guttural moan from deep within.

Reading your SO's body language (Just ask Ariel). But thats a blog for another day.

Keep it kinky!

-Haven De Lancret

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Looking for new questions or possible myths

I want to hear your questions about sex or kink!

I am looking for new blogs to write as well as working on a blog about dispelling myths about sex and kink. I have heard a fair amount, but I want to here yours and might find some new ones!

You can write them as a comment here, send me a message, or an email.

Keep it kinky!

-Haven De Lancret

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Chivalry is not dead...

Chivalry has just been resting, but sometimes it gets kicked back down. Just because I open a door for someone does not mean that I don't think that you can't do it. Its not that I by opening that door that I do not believe in equal rights for women... So don't give me shit when I do!

Same goes if I offer to pay for dinner... So whats the problem? Is it so bad that I still wish to be courteous, respectful, or just nice.

The long and short of it is, I will still open doors and do as I feel is being respectful... Even if I get shit from time to time...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

What I needed to know about BDSM, I learned in Kindergarten

When it comes to BDSM, kink, and public play it really does come down to a few simple rules. Most of which we have been told since we were kids, but that some time people need to be reminded of these or some feel that because we, as a community are so open, that some of these rules do not apply.

So in no particular order...

1. If its not yours, DO NOT TOUCH IT! This goes for someones toys, body, SO, everything. If you do not own it, then you should not touch it/them. Asking politely will get you far, especially since we are such an open community.

2. Always were clean underwear. Remember that one? Well it fits not just for underwear, but for all your dress. Do not go to a public function, play party, or even to a date with your SO in dirty clothes! Now its not because you might be in car crash (but if you are in a crash, you have probably shit yourself already) but because you should always look good.

3. Put thinks away. This goes for even if you are at a munch or at home. Take care of your toys, take your empty glasses to the bar, and pick up after your self (Even if it is what the waitress is paid for) you will leave a better impression on the staff of our community.

4. Do not bother others. If someone is playing, or talking, or anything do not be rude and bother them. Wait for a proper time to talk or interject.

5. No means NO. I know that should not need to be said, but the end all is if someone tells you "NO" it means NO damnit! If its asking to use a toy, to touch someone, or to offer some advice.

The end all of this is respect. Respect others and their property. So if you are not going to be respectful, then stay home and for our sakes stay the hell off the internet too. Go pop in some cheep porn and have your jollies by yourself and leave the rest of us alone!

Now if you can follow these simple rules, then come one down to your local munch or event and lets have some respectful fun!

Keep it kinky!

Haven De Lancret