Monday, January 28, 2013

Need some help

So I am looking for more things to write about.  I just can't seem to think of anything new to write on, or to expand upon.  So I come to you my readers, what is it that you want to know about, want to know more about, or even just have a questions about.

Getting responses and feedback from you, helps me know what to write.  So please take some time, send me a message here, in the anonymous box to the right, or send me an email at  Let me know what you want to read!

Thanks, and as always,

Keep it kinky!


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Scenes in BDSM

So I was asked recently to explain a scene in BDSM. This is one of those terms used a lot in BDSM. The short version is to look at it like a scene in a movie “a part of action in a single location.” A scene in BDSM can be short or long, and involve one or many types of play. Scenes can be done solo with one person doing a certain task or series of tasks, or involve as many people as needed. It’s one of the many terms that is very fluid and can mean many things.

For me, most of my scenes involve my pet babygirl who is my submissive. For the most part, our scenes usually have many types of play in them as we both love the variety and spontaneity that having so many options gives us. This means that a scene may or may not have impact, fire, edge, wax, rope, behavioral, pain, pleasure, sensation, and anything else I can think of.

I like my scenes to be very fluid; in a way like the old saying “No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.” I have found more times than not that when I have set out precise plan for a scene, that it will not follow that plan. Things change, desires can change mid scene, bodies might not agree with some types of play at that time, etc.

When I am preparing for a scene, I do like to start at the end and work my way back. When I want to scene, I usually have something that I want to accomplish by the scene. That could be anything from making her cry, sending her into subspace, trying a new toy for the first time, or working on a specific tie.

After I have that idea in place, I will set about setting the space with the necessary items. Laying crops, whips, floggers, canes, rope, etc within reach so I don’t have to step away. If the scene might get messy, I make sure there are towels nearby as well. I set the aftercare items nearby, like her blanket, candy, and water. I will also take time to set the mood of the space. If it is going to be a dark scene, I light some candles leaving most of the space shrouded in darkness. On the other hand, if it’s going to be an interrogation scene, then I get out the bright work lights. Either way, I make the lighting fit the effect I want on the scene.

Last is music for the scene. I have a few playlists that I have set up for types of scenes. Most start slow and build with speed and tempo as the scene progresses. Others are just a mix of good music to have in the background of any scene. I also have some files of just sound effects if that is what I want. Some are full of the sounds of a dungeon, people being beaten and crying, another is just the sound of wind and trees. It all depends on what I want the scene to be.

Then we scene… Use your imagination here…

Ok, so now that the scene is done, one of the things that I do is ask for a scene report within 24 hours of the end scene. This scene report is simply the submissive or bottoms feelings about the scene. It can be just feelings or very specific on how each part felt. The reason that it can be vague is that once some bottoms get into the scene what’s actually happening stops being remembered… They can remember that something happened, but they couldn’t tell you what did it. I have had bottoms forget that a toy was used at all, to confuse it with another one. In one case I have a bottom tell me that she loved the use of the paddle I used, but I hadn’t used a paddle in the scene…

The scene report helps me, as the top know what worked for the bottom, what was liked, what was not, what reactions were gotten, etc. I also will sometimes right my own thoughts after a scene. Sometimes I share this with the bottom, sometimes not it depends on the scene. Either way, this is a learning tool, a communication tool, to help everyone become better at what they are doing.

So there you have it, a sum up of a scene.

Questions, comments, concerns, feel free to shoot me a message.